Envy's Parfait
by The Gray Ninja246
Summary: Oh, this is bad. This is so bad on so many levels. Someone took Envy's parfait! Who did it? Why did they do it? How will Envy react? Read to find out. (Pardon horrible summary; story is better...hopefully.) (Rated T for abnormal paranoid-ness, but may lower it to K Plus later.)


**Um...hi. This is my first _FMA _fanfic, so cut me some slack with this. I wanted to start with an Envy one-shot, and so when I saw a picture of him with a parfait, I was just wondering two things: 1) How much he likes parfaits, and 2) His reaction to what would happen if someone took it from him. This is the result. And it's rated T because I'm kinda paranoid about this, but if you guys think it should be lower, then I'll change it to a K-Plus.**

**I do not own _Fullmetal Alchemist _in any way.**

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(Envy)

Oh...my...Philosopher's Stone. It's gone! _NOO! _This can't be happening...

I had it here, just a second ago! And then I turned around, but when I looked back at it, it had vanished. Oh, my beautiful honey-strawberry-yogurt-bannana-kiwi-blueberry-granola parfait with whipcream and a cherry. The most beautiful parfait ever, and it's gone.

I bet someone took it. Someone evil...er than I. You know what, it might have been Gluttony. He's always hungry and whatnot, so it gets _really_ irritating _really_ fast whenever he starts going on a food rampage. So it might have been him. Or it might have been...

Someone walked in and I looked at them. "Hawkeye?"

"Oh, hey, Envy," she said. I noticed something in her hands and asked, "Um, what's that that you're holding?"

She looked down at her hands. "Oh, this? It's a parfait that I found just a few moments ago. It's really good," she added as she took another bite out of the parfait.

My face turned a deep shade of angry red, and my shoulders began to hunch the way they usually did before I transformed into my true form. I was swaying, too, and red lightning began flickering from my fingertips and down the length of my spiky black-green hair.

"Uh, Envy? Why are you looking at me like that?"

"You took my parfait!" I threw my head back and yelled, pointing a finger at her. As I leaped forward, my body began to take on a much larger form. Right before I reached her, the look on her face said, "Oh, crap..."

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**Several hours later...**

"Care to explain what happened here?" Lust towered over me with her arms crossed over her chest. I was currently sitting cross-legged on the ground with my parfait in my left hand. My right elbow was on my knee with my cheek in my hand, and my spoon in my mouth. I glared up at her, and mumbled around my spoon, "Nothing happened, Lust. Why are you asking?"

"Because there are a lot of suspicious-looking red marks smeared across the walls, ceiling, and floor," she answered. I shrugged.

"Gluttony must have been on an eating rampage," I said, "you know how he gets whenever he's eating live things." Lust sighed and uncrossed her arms.

"Gluttony was with me the whole afternoon," she informed me, "so I find that a little unlikely." Her eyes narrowed, and I was forced to drop my gaze down to the floor, feeling slightly intimidated by my busty sister.

"Look, Lust, someone touched my parfait and you know how much I hate it when people touch my parfaits," I finally admitted after a few moments of silence.

"But did you really need to rip that someone to pieces?"

I yanked my spoon out of my mouth and stabbed it into my parfait before springing lithely to my feet, glowering heatedly at Lust. "She was _eating_ it, too! And I even _made_ this particular parfait, thank you very much!"

"So, who was it that unfortunately met their fate at your hands?"

I raised a hand and nervously scratched the back of my neck. "Uh, about that...do I haveta tell Colonel Hothead that I, um, kinda took care of his babysitter?"_**  
**_

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**Once again, this is my first FMA fanfic, and I think I slightly overdid Envy's reaction. It might have been a little too drastic, but I don't really know.**

**Well, tell me how it was in the reviews. If you thought it was good, tell me. If you thought it was crap, tell me, but then add something on how I can make it better.**

**And, yeah. I think that's all.**

**This is Gray, and I'm signing off. :)**


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